How Happy the gleams

Whence light ought to drop as snow
Increase, will you? Muse us with more,
My soul yea fierce, parting by the low;
How easy is pain whilst turkey tore?

So sweet are the ripe and tender flesh,
So bitter yet sweet a cranberry top,
Give all, or more I seek how fresh,
One I eat, one I drink and one I pop.

I’ll stir a bird in homeless creed,
So please my wine with sombre words
Of the cold, the immoral in whom heed
A pleasant word from those cynical turds!

I grow tiresome of this crowd of infidels,
The people; the jokers of my existence,
Such laughter, such folk are hardly revels,
So take me, give a Devil to take me hence!

I seek a dance with dark moss on a field,
So empty. So foggy. Give Chestershire mine,
In minds alike shades walk and yield,
Shall thwart and ere they snort a line

May transport themselves from here escape,
How easy it is for this happy thought surface,
Now mind this eased shall be more than ape,
Till grief alone is my sorrow happy base,

And this we feel through our faux blood,
I take it as much I tasted my forbearance,
As much I have given it as much I know my rod,
All joys are swept, now all is but nuance.

*

And a sound as far the hairs can sense,
Did give leave for widened eyes deceive,
Who would know then this joke recompense?
This lie I call my pursuit of ought receive,

Only to realise a path whose rocks swept
Through the banishing fog of utmost vine,
Towers before me; if not so God is left,
Now there’s a story I tell, when we run,

To no end at all: a breath and eyes move,
To no end at all, clearance at fog’s depart,
To no end at all; his pain is mine to soothe,
To no end at all. Then I said be all but ought.

Places

Neither Oxford nor Webster shall refine
At ease but droll a sight as this:
Who would move and who would go?
I’m walking away, and I belong nowhere,
All the days and then the years pass,
From here, to there, patience sunk,
From nowhere, to everywhere I go.
So call me the fleeting bird departing,
So pronounce a new name, call me fleeting.
Nay, I am a wanderer. Wandering, walking;
Like wine, like K, give me all. Bit of it.
I shall snoop down my mind and crawl forth.
These webs, each thread is now a track,
Shoot each train my way. Nor yes nor no:
Say, will you travel again by my side?
No, you say? Very well. I’ll forget it all.
All the friends, the “family” – Gone.
These contacts? My Number? Gone.
Memories? Souvenirs? Gone.
A heart breaking? Never mind.
Neither land nor sea can change my sails.
I will blow the waves till no land is near,
Till all I fraught with little to no gain,
At which point, my existing is my land.
I’ll set foot at a new life, and new me.
All I had, so be it I am thus fleeting;
Then you’ll call a shrink my way here,
But my dear, I am nowhere here to be near;
From childhood I’ve been crept on and shut,
Imprisoned and sore were mine eyes at this,
So I devised a new plan to leave. Leave.
It seemed so amazing. I cried so happy-sad,
Now all I drank became that which I am,
A part of me, and I become the city,
So give me new, this much I am who as:
The sum of everything else. I see now,
There’s a trinkle of life by the sea,
But land is not enough. Nor people.
Just a travel. I’ll be French on one day,
Then German; then Italian, then Russian,
Oh, it’s a case of learning. But I’ll get.
Years later, I am still trembling with this,
I want you, but I cannot have you.
This land, this ocean speaks my name.
So whisper again. Now the light is soon,
I’ll be a lasting halo at twilight call,
When sun is set, then breathes so slow.

*

A chain turns cold round my waist,
Whose iron bonds give weight tenfold,
Nor right, nor left a turn I bid anew;
The sight I see is one enchained,
In every sound I speak a wisdom
Whose echo casts a shadow on me,
But never I said don’t walk away!
These bonds that break, my fate resigns,
Mute are the words of child he thought,
To pass adult now still his mind abides,
Though once I was able, now I am not,
With all I will so my heart endures,
Break the chain with warming heart,
Cast the Sun’s rays mine eyes do kiss,
Ere blinded by life anew, who could tell?
Rather I this much blind than be unseen,
Link by link, double bond by bond: blessed
Be those who have believed, but never seen.

* AWAY *

I was born with initials scarred on me,
My eyes were browned by blood congealed,
All the horror I see is a horror I am,
No sound of music can wash a breath away,
If no sun can light every road so gold,
Then I shall carve gold out of thin air,
Let me construct the path I ought to walk,
Now I see a way, but I turn away. I know.
It was a silly idea, but I learnt and I went,
Now the cheeks of clouds pour forth their load,
No one is there to say I’m sorry, nor to gloat,
Now the angels weep. Now the demons awake.
Bring me to the palace of diamonds and dark,
Now construct a face I can never afford. It’s me.
I’ll dance when everyone else is danced out.
I’ll breathe when I’m this much a lasting one.
Now I am walking towards a sudden lapse of life,
One I cannot deny, so much a tree gives leaves,
Soon I find myself in the greatest crossroads here,
Some say it’s a trap, but here, it’s a life so near.

Without Face

Ere comes a time neither right nor left
Neither forward nor back, half-wit shape,
Whether pale nor blue, in barks a spree,
Now turn a neck her breath wouldn’t chase,
So laid in wake till morn sun may repel,
These single takings, a mistake long fought,
Could not see past her faults and admit them,
Nor could she write her feels and thoughts,
Nor could she read the message always bound,
But death awakened her from a flight with hell
And drooped so far with debt, a failed love, etc;
So too did it come she needed escape but to where?
If it weren’t the bar, it would certainly be through,
What worse prison than those whose mind imprison?
What better way to live than deny all chance to see?
And could I be wrong, if a bird would not fly, then die!
My lady, having forsook warns and mistook an error,
Now see for it begun a search for promise in erred ways,
Now cast a leap whose still horse is but one you take,
At most forsake all such neuroses and awaken here,
So guide a light and never resist the words yond made,
For there too remains life in ink I withwrit and bleed,
Whomsoever calls that patronise, then I am a patron.
These gates would not close, the bar is rust and spoilt,
An air is thick with thoughts, open a window. Release.
So this much I say would not reach stubborn head,
May it be as may, nor callous how much I said,
Nor turned a key, this much I too am shamed,
Now feel a pulse, my heart too is wrought,
Hers be the fainted thought, alas is new,
Years are fought with seconds these days;
The tree would not sink by my hands alone,
So that poor I shall witness all forsook,
Then beam a mirror at who you are
When times alone between us past
Are but simple shades in lighted hue,
Whose shadow I am come shadow ye fought,
Whence no one there can help us now,
Till morning drew, your escape is nigh.

*

Thinks you can muster,
Things you can do,
Bite an arm; put to test,
A strung reel of ability, of skill,
Who knew not the past self to do it now?
If not never, nor can never be done,
If done well, may it better be done.
When in failure, at least ye tried,
When not in failure, do better again!
So these the plans are struck,
To this our task is sought,
A beginning anew, nor late is bade;
A man unravelled is he remade:
No matter how big a task,
Believe in greatness; thou shalt be great.

*

Though I do not know who you are,
I feel a time where once I knew,
So sweet and subtle a feeling gay,
In midst of fog and dark did blur lights,
Who knew not this man to enter a gaze,
So kind at first, but cold at last,
Though few doses was enough, it wasn’t:
Like a drug mixed with the driest wine,
Who knew not what it was, what he drank?
Only a bitter taste with sweet after tones,
But knew not an effect so subtle thereafter,
First it was so sweet, then rich came poor;
This man once I knew how repressed,
And whose beast inside of me then encaged,
One kiss then slips another, too few, too much,
Oh, fog of hallucinating joy, kiss mine eyes adieu:
Why did you present with me such toxic waste to spell
His name then forsake me at crossroads to guide me here;
Did I ask Love to kiss my lips then soil my heart anew?
No, it needn’t must so; all love for him I now repress,
Whilst he alone continues his pillaging of others,
So to speak; but not for mine, whence now I leave,
But alas, my horny state I cannot forgive,
It was I who so ignorant of my being a storm is swept,
Then years later I’m reminded and so you approach.
No, I do not remember you; but I feel whom I used to know:
Leave, and so never return. Leave, and so never return!

Ill Sport

Though tormented in heat,
Bearing wound upon wound,
Is ill got whence a march esteem,
Who held no hope in path it seems,
Whilst he makes stand the gate is closed,
All around him are bars like dog enclosed,
Not by fate, but by skill and chance in fight,
If this be ought that now is done so right,
Let him be spared from all misery defeat,
Now send cheer that he hear not his heart to beat,
One strike and the crowd in hysterics,
Another blow he would ne surely fix.

Here fought a player by fist and glove,
Looks right and left, below and above,
Sees not himself, within, a beast untamed,
A demon lurks for thoughts he famed,
Neither sweat nor blood can stop him now,
Though thoughts how tough now ill bestow,
He hugs floor and foe in no match resolved,
And all past bound in heart is soon absolved,
Either man too weak, or sport too cruel,
Ere the chance is lost, vict’ry be ought his fuel.

Where he was

Whether there, nor here, a leak so sore,
And whirling through the ages past is gone,
And musing can it not shine light once more,
These steps he ought to walk before they run,
A smoothing sound, a familiar sound he rose,
Now breathes an air ill-fresh, nisc, contrite,
Ere all the life he once he had is gone to pose,
Seemingly in the dark, hidden in memory to fight.
The hours roll by, as always, by day and week,
He forgot the life he once had in a near-gone past,
Like a scent, these memories had succumbed so weak,
To gather a perfume, to shade a natural scent fast,
So that none would wonder where he is come to where,
Thus is ought to say he’s simply that from where he is,
This rapid change of constant revision as a train fare
When no one notices, then freezes at such remarked fizz,
It all seems a distraction he thinks, and no one cheers,
The western parts fared better, but it’s all gone now,
Now he says he’s back where he was, like all those years
Of seeking and hoping, come sought and hope for now,
Is stability brought, but yearns for unstable fraught,
Let me fall again! Just so I know I live, he says,
But no time is come than ill-got of present thought,
So when he’s finally that, then he knows his ways.

 

niesc = short form for omniscient